Testing out an unusual new sex toy — the Hot Octopuss Queen Bee!
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If I had to sum up the Hot Octopuss Queen Bee in one phrase, it would be “good concept, poor execution.”
This toy was sent to me by Hot Octopuss in exchange for my honest review.
I was pretty interested when the company announced that they were coming out with their first clit toy this year. Their flagship penis toy, the Pulse, is known for its really cool piston-like “PulsePlate,” so I was excited to see that tech translated to a toy that I can actually use.
So the Queen Bee has this big-ass plate on it that pulsates in and out very quickly. It’s not vibrating, it’s oscillating — but in use the stimulation feels similar to a really rumbly vibrator. And you know I’m all about that.
But unfortunately, once this toy is up against my genitals everything just goes to shit.
My biggest problem with the Queen Bee is its shape. The PulsePlate end of the toy is is very wide, and if you have fleshy labia or a sort of buried clit, it’s very hard to get the plate to actually hit where you want without just being enveloped by flesh. Every session I have with this toy inevitably starts with several minutes of trying different angles, adjusting my labia, and just general frustrated finagling before I can begin to eek any amount of pleasure from it.
Also, if you know me, you know that I like to use pressure with my clit toys. And with the Queen Bee, any sort of pressure just stops the PulsePlate from moving. So… not ideal.
Another problem with this toy is the god-awful noise it makes. Now, I’m not generally too bothered by loud sex toys. Some of my noisiest vibrators are my favorites. But this thing is on another level. Even with the door shut, you can hear it from clear across the house. It terrifies my dog. Am I on a construction site? WHAT IS THIS?
When the stars align and I manage to tune out the noise and get everything situated juuust right, the PulsePlate does actually feel really nice. But I can’t tell if the motor’s just not quite strong enough for me or if it’s being dampened by my skin or what — but it’s not as powerful as I would like it to be.
I’d say I’m able to orgasm with the Queen Bee about 50% of the time. But I’m a pretty easily-orgasmic person with toys, so that’s not a great track record compared to other vibrators I have — vibrators that don’t cost $150.
I would love to see Hot Octopuss come out with a clit toy that has a smaller, more powerful PulsePlate. Something that’s easier to fit between labia. You know, to where the clit is. I think this tech has a lot of potential, and I’m excited to see where they go with it from here. But the Queen Bee just doesn’t do it for me.
Regarding the material, this toy is made out of TPE (thermoplastic elastomer). If you’ve seen any of my material safety videos, you know that TPE used in the sex toy industry is generally non-toxic but still porous enough to harbor bacteria and mold.
That is not the case here. I’ve been assured by people I trust, who know more about materials than I do, that the TPE used for the Queen Bee is medical-grade, sterilizable, and functionally non-porous.
So if you keep it clean, you shouldn’t have to worry about bacteria. But unfortunately, keeping it clean is more of a pain in the ass than you’d expect, because the ridges surrounding the PulsePlate create these little Hell Crevices that just trap all the dust and fluids and get real gross real fast.
My final qualm with this toy is that for some reason Hot Octopuss thought it was a good idea to put the control buttons on the back of the handle so that they face away from you when you’re using the toy. The icons aren’t really raised enough to tell the buttons apart by touch, so I’m constantly hitting the wrong one and accidentally going into pattern mode when I’m just trying to increase the speed.
So let’s recap. The Hot Octopuss Queen Bee is unergonomic, loud, hard to clean, expensive, and doesn’t reliably get me off. It might win Disappointing Sex Toy Bingo.
I genuinely like Hot Octopuss as a company, even if their name does make me cringe and this toy does make me sad, so I hope they can take some of this feedback and put it to good use.
What are your guys’s thoughts on the Hot Octopuss Queen Bee? Let me know down in the comments!
Thanks for watching, and I’ll see you next time!