Struggling to figure out the perfect dildo size when sex toy shopping? I’ve got you covered!
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Few things suck more than spending money on an exciting new sex toy, only to realize when it arrives that the size is way off from what you had pictured. Maybe it’s too small to really be fulfilling or too big for you to even use at all. This is an extremely easy mistake to make, especially in this age of buying toys online where you can’t view the item in person and pretty much have to rely on the website’s photos and measurements.
In my years as a sex toy educator I have helped a lot of people determine what toy size is best for them, and I’ve picked up some practical tips and tricks to make figuring that out as simple as possible.
This video was kindly sponsored by the fantastic body-safe sex toy shop Peepshow Toys, so if you find this advice helpful consider checking out their site.
So the first mistake a lot of people make when toy shopping is only focusing on the length measurement. I get so many emails from people that say things like, “I’m looking for a 7-inch long dildo. What should I get?” And the question I immediately ask them is, “What kind of girth are you looking for?” Because in nearly every situation the thickness of a sex toy is going to be more important than its length, and toys of the same length can have dramatically different girths.
But how do you figure out what kind of girth you would like?
Let’s start with some basic reference points. The vast majority of dildos and butt plugs on the market are between 1 and 2 inches in diameter (which is around 4 to 6 inches in circumference). Keep in mind that diameter is the width across and circumference is the girth around. Different sex toy sites will list their measurements one way or the other, but if you’re more comfortable with one (like I have an easier time visualizing diameter measurements) there are lots of online converters you can use that will tell you what the measurement is in your preferred form.
If you have experience with human penises, that can be something useful to reference. The average human penis is about 1.5″ in diameter. Going up from there, 1.75″ would be above average, 2″ would be very large, and anything wider than that is pretty much beyond the typical human range. So if you have sex with people with dicks, use that as your starting point. Do you want average or something larger or smaller?
What if you’re someone with little-to-no experience with any kind of penetration whatsoever?
For folks who are new to insertables, toys with a 1″ diameter are usually a good starting place. If you’re extremely cautious, consider something closer to .75″. And if you’re really confident, you might even be able to start with a 1.25″ toy.
You may notice a pattern in the measurements I’ve been listing, which is that I’m always increasing or decreasing by .25″ in diameter at a time. And that’s because that is the general rule of thumb for sizing up or down with sex toys. If you have a toy that you like but want to go bigger, look for something about a quarter-inch wider than your current toy. That should provide a nice, challenging stretch — if you try to increase by much more than that, you may hurt yourself or find that the toy just isn’t usable. When sizing up it’s extremely important to go slowly, listen to your body, and be aware of your limits.
Also, keep in mind that your fingers can be one of the most useful sizing tools you have. If you aren’t sure what kind of thickness you’ll enjoy, consider playing with your fingers first. See how many fingers feel the best to you, and then get out some measuring tape (or a string and a ruler) and measure around the circumference of those fingers. Now you have a personalized size reference point to work with.
Some sex toy sites like Peepshow Toys even have helpful size filters you can use to narrow your search to only toys that are within your preferred size range, which can make the shopping process a lot less overwhelming.
Another mistake people often make is seeing words like small, medium, large, etc. listed in a toy’s name or description and making assumptions based on that without actually checking the exact measurements.
Those words can mean very different things to different people and to different toy companies.
A brand that specializes in huge toys may call something “small” that would be another brand’s “large.” A dildo with “thick” in its name could have the exact same girth as a “slim” toy from a different company (or even a different line within the same company.)
So it’s important to read and understand the listed dimensions so you know exactly what you’ll be getting.
It can also be useful to verify those measurements on a second site. Some sex shops just list the dimensions given by the manufacturer, while others actually measure each toy by hand themselves. In both cases there is room for human error, so it’s not uncommon to see different websites listing somewhat different measurements for the same product.
This is one of the reasons sex toy reviews can be extremely helpful.
Professional reviewers will usually tell you if the measurements given by the manufacturer don’t seem correct, and if they do video reviews (like me) you can even see the toy from different angles and get a clearer idea of its actual size.
Another important piece of information that isn’t always totally clear in product descriptions but is usually covered by reviewers is the firmness of a toy. Sex toys made of silicone, for example, can be anywhere from nearly rock hard to extremely squishy depending on the particular silicone blend. And how firm a toy is can have an effect on what size you’d prefer.
Dildos with a lot of squish to them can feel a little bit smaller than their actual size in use as your body compresses the material, so people can often handle larger sizes in softer toys. Whereas you’re going to feel every square inch of a firmer dildo, so may want to be a little bit more cautious in your size selection.
And sex toy reviewers can be an excellent resource on than kind of information.
So there you have it! That is my best advice on choosing the right dildo size to fit your body and preferences. I hope a lot of you found it helpful. If you have any other tips or tricks you use to pick toy sizes, definitely share them down in the comments! I’m really interested.
Remember to check out Peepshow if you’re in the market for anything new and exciting. The code ERIKA will get you 10% off sitewide.
And as always, thanks for watching, and I’ll see you next time!
