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reviews

Reviews April 8, 2017

Fun Factory Stronic Eins Review

This review has taken me a ridiculously long time to do for a few different reasons, but mainly because of the dissonance between how my vagina about this toy and how my brain feels. Let’s get this out of the way first: the Fun Factory Stronic Eins is a nearly $200 sex toy. I never know whether to talk about price in my toy reviews. Sometimes I feel like I should only discuss the faults and merits of the product and let consumers determine their own feelings about the cost…

Reviews January 24, 2017

L’amourose Prism V Review

When I say that the L’amourose Prism V is my perfect vibrator, I am not using that word lightly. I test sex toys for a living, after all, and I sugarcoat nothing — the things I love still tend to come with a list of caveats, and the things I hate are spared no snarky comment or complaint. I want the sex toy industry to be better, and part of making it better is through critique…

Reviews November 21, 2016

We-Vibe Sync Review

In general, wearable couples vibrators are not something that usually excites me. I appreciate the wearable aspect as an accessibility feature, but even then, the motors in those toys are usually pretty weak and buzzy, and they can be really finicky about actually fitting different people’s bodies and staying in the right place. So when We-Vibe sent me their newest couples toy, the Sync, I was as skeptical as I’ve ever been…

Reviews September 17, 2016

Fun Factory Miss Bi Review

When the nice folks at Fun Factory sent me the Miss Bi for review, they also hilariously included a small army of tiny dildos. And I fully intend on taking over the world with them. I have had my eye on the Fun Factory Miss Bi ever since the toy came out a year ago…

Reviews August 25, 2016

Satisfyer Pro 2 Review

It’s pretty much impossible to talk about the Satisfyer Pro 2 without comparing it to the Womanizer. And much like the Womanizer, this is a toy that leaves me with a lot of questions. Why does it have such a stupid name? …

Reviews July 26, 2016

Tantus Bound Review

When I pulled the Tantus Bound out of the box for the first time, I had the sinking feeling that I’d made a terrible mistake. I don’t think you can fully appreciate exactly how intense this toy’s texture is until you’re holding it in your hand. This is not a dildo for the faint of heart or orifice…

Reviews June 30, 2016

Swan Princess: Pleasure Panel Review

I am super excited to announce that I am part of the Cara Sutra Pleasure Panel! What this means is that you might see sex toy reviews from me pop up over there from time to time. My first Pleasure Panel review is for the Swan Princess rabbit vibrator (also known as the Jopen Vanity Vr5 here in the States)…

Reviews June 17, 2016

Lovehoney Desire Wand Review

Hey guys! Today I’m going to talk about the Lovehoney Desire Wand, which was sent to me by Lovehoney in exchange for my honest review. I’m really resisting the urge to sing into it like a microphone. As the name suggests, the Lovehoney Desire Wand is from Lovehoney’s Desire range, which is their new line of luxury toys…

Reviews May 19, 2016

Jimmyjane Form 5 Review

The first Form 5 I was sent was defective straight out of the box. It wouldn’t take a charge, and it wouldn’t turn on. Then I got my replacement. I think I liked it better when it wouldn’t turn on…

Reviews May 5, 2016

We-Vibe Nova Review

You guys already know how much I fucking love the We-Vibe Rave, so much so that it’s quickly become one of my all-time favorite sex toys. So when I got ready to test out We-Vibe’s other new toy, the Nova, I knew it had a lot to live up to…