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Why does it have such a stupid name? Where is the Satisfyer Pro 1? Why call your debut toy the Pro 2? That just seems to me like a sneaky attempt at pretending they’ve been around longer and that their flagship product isn’t just a blatant rip-off of one of the most innovative and wildly successful sex toys to come out in recent memory. But hey, what do I know?
If you don’t know what the Satisfyer Pro 2 or Womanizer are, they’re toys that encapsulate the clitoris and use air pulsation to mimic the feeling of light suction. It’s a really strange sensation — some people have likened the Womanizer to feeling like tiny fish nibbling on their bits — but it’s proven to be surprisingly effective for a lot of people. I actually really liked the Womanizer, so when Lovehoney gave me the chance to test out the Satisfyer, I jumped on it.
Despite the silly name and potential ethical concerns, I was actually pretty excited to get my hands on this thing. If you saw my review of the Womanizer W500, you’ll know that while I did like it, I took issue with its tacky appearance, absurdly high price tag, and lack of any sort of water resistance.
The Satisfyer Pro 2 seemed to solve a lot of those problems. It’s sleek and rose gold, it’s significantly lower priced, and it’s fully waterproof. Meaning that it can be used in the bath and you can actually thoroughly clean the body in the sink without worrying that you’re sending your little clit-sucking buddy to a watery grave.
So that’s pretty cool. I was really hoping that I could recommend this as a more affordable alternative to the Womanizer, but unfortunately, despite its potential (and it does have a lot of it!), there are a couple aspects of this toy that make it almost unusable for me.
The first is its noise. Holy shit, this thing is loud. I thought the Womanizer was loud, but this thing is significantly louder. This is a toy that I would definitely be concerned about housemates hearing through the door. The sound does dampen a bit when the toy’s head is completely in contact with the body, but it still isn’t quiet by any means.
My second issue with this toy, and the one that’s the real deal-breaker for me, is its intensity. The Satisfyer has no truly low settings to speak of. The lowest speed on this toy is similar to the upper middle speeds on my Womanizer W500.
I don’t even normally get to those speeds on the Womanizer before I finish, so being forced to start there with the Satisfyer without any option for build-up is jarring and, frankly, uncomfortable. Especially because, unlike a powerful traditional vibrator that you can use through your underwear or some other sort of barrier, there is no way to really diffuse this toy’s sensations if you do find it too intense.
This toy boasts eleven speeds, so I was expecting a nice range from low to high. I didn’t get that. I got one speed that I can realistically use without verging into painful territory, and even that first speed is often too much for me.
Now there are a couple of situations where I would recommend the Satisfyer Pro 2.
If you know you love or need really pinpoint stimulation and you like a lot of power or are struggling with lack of clit sensitivity? This could be really great for you.
Or if you’re a trans man or any person with a vulva who’s on testosterone who was interested in the Womanizer but put off by the shape of the nozzle. The Satisfyer’s hole is larger and the entire head is more blunt and rounded, which might be more comfortable. That’s just an assumption on my part — I can’t speak from experience — but if you’re a trans guy trying to decide between the two toys, this is the one I’d recommend.
But for most people, and especially people who are just looking for a lower-priced alternative to the Womanizer… I don’t entirely know where I stand on this. I do know people who love the Satisfyer. I know one person who loves it more than the Womanizer. I just can’t figure out what the traits or preferences are that make or break this toy for people.
All I can say is if you think you might like it, it could be worth a shot. If you buy it through Lovehoney they’ve got a 365-day, no-questions-asked return policy, so you can get a full refund if it turns out not to be your cup of tea. As for me, my clit shudders at the thought of this thing, so I’ll be keeping it around for comparison purposes, but, y’know, in the back of my vibrator drawer where I don’t have to look at it.
What are your guys’s thoughts on the Satisfyer Pro 2? Has it worked for you better than it’s worked for me? Let me know down in the comments. I’m seriously interested.
Thanks for watching, and I’ll see you next time!